The Nice Guy vs. The Good Man
A warrior is not often thought of as a “nice guy.” Accordingly, this is not his aim. There is a difference between acting nice and living a good life, between trying to be a nice guy and being a good man or woman.
The “nice” person is obedient. He does unto others as he sees fit, but does not require others to do good unto him. He often sacrifices his own voice, his own choice for that of others, and takes a followers role in order to appear “nice.” Often, these actions are performed with hidden resentment and self-deprecation. Indeed, the “nice guy” acts this way not out of compassion or power, but rather from self-doubt. He is nice so that others will like him, so that he will not disappoint them, so that he does not stand out, rock the boat, or get left behind. In this sense, the “nice” lifestyle is a drab, powerless existence—not a very nice place to live
The “good” life, however, is a powerful and righteous path. The good man or woman does unto others as s/he would have them do unto him, regardless of how others actually do (similar to the nice guy); but unlike the “nice” pleaser, the good man stands up for himself, voices his opinion when necessary, and remains steadfast in his convictions…even if others don’t think this stance is very “nice.” He does not walk the pleasing path to be liked or to not disappoint. He rather walks the good path—the right path—making decision he believes are right and true, acting in service but standing up for beliefs, building the right relationships, doing the right things, and fighting the worthy battles. “Right” to him or her is not based on social cues—what others say is right—but instead on what he or she feels is righteous, in line with his/her spiritual path and worldly purpose. The good man is often nice because he acts from compassion and service, and he acknowledges his choice in acting affably because it’s the right way to be in a particular situation.
In fact, being a nice person is often part of being a good person; but do not ignore your right path, your voice, your presence, in order simply to be agreeable and included. Walk the righteous path, and the right people and situations will inevitably arrive in your life. Continue to walk the nice path, even in the face of your own misery or self-contempt, and the ones who will take advantage of you will fill your world. In the end, the good person wins the spiritual and emotional battle; the nice guy never really plays at all.
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